I Was Going to Write a Review of “Logan”…

…except I couldn’t think of the words I wanted. It’s…it’s almost beyond words, in a way. It was tragic and satisfying and totally deserves to be Best Picture of the Year, except the awards committees are too snobby to even consider it.

Well, if this was the last time we’re ever going to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, he went out with a bang. Hollywood is full of idiots–well, more idiots than usual–if they think they can ever recast this role. Let Logan rest in peace. He’s earned it. And if they feel they must make more Wolverine movies, at least wait for Daphne Keen to get a little older so Laura can carry on her father’s legacy.

Rest in peace, Wolverine. And thanks for giving us seventeen years of stabbing things.

Some Thoughts on “Doctor Who: World Enough and Time” *Contains Spoilers*

This is it, folks–the finale is upon us! Though it is a bittersweet reminder that we are just that much closer to saying goodbye to Capaldi, finales are still exciting, heart-pounding forays that hurl us into the conclusion of season-long story arcs. And this was an episode that, even though I knew certain things were coming–still left me in happy shock.

Most people already knew the plot–the Doctor decides to test Missy’s decision to be good and sends Bill and Nardole with her to answer a ship’s distress signal, and during the course of answering the signal, they encounter the Mondasian Cybermen and the old Master. But the way in which this was all executed was brilliant.

The idea of Bill and the Doctor being on the same ship but in different time zones definitely added a new dimension of desperation. What’s been a few minutes for the Doctor has been years for Bill, which makes her final declaration of “I waited for you” all the more heartbreaking. (Confession: since the Cybermen in “The Tenth Planet” had names, I had to do a brief check to see if that episode had any Cybermen named Bill. It didn’t.) And Bill being turned into a Cyberman–well, let’s just say I found that as shocking as when Missy killed Osgood in “Death in Heaven”. What really drives this home, though, is that there very likely won’t be a reset button–no two Osgoods like in “The Zygon Invasion”, no extractions from timelines like in “Hell Bent”. There’s a very strong likelihood there is no going back from this development–this will be permanent.

That Master reveal, although I knew it was coming, still managed to surprise me. I figured the Master was probably being held prisoner somewhere in the ship, but, nope, he was right in the middle of the action, helping to create the Cybermen! And remember, too, that these Cybermen are the ones responsible for the First Doctor’s regeneration, so this is getting to be quite the wibbily-wobbily storyline. Missy’s reaction was fascinating to watch, too, because she has clearly forgotten these events…but she clearly enjoys being back with her old self.

And this is going to be completely random, but hooray for the Venusian Akido making a comeback!

Next week, we hurl onwards to what’s sure to be an exhilerating conclusion in “The Doctor Falls”! More Master/Missy goodness! More hints about Bill’s ultimate fate! And maybe–just maybe–a resolution to those tantilizing regeneration teasers!

Some Thoughts on “Doctor Who: The Eaters of Light” *Contains Spoilers*

Before I get into the latest episode, I have to freak out about the trailer for next week’s episode before I explode.

AAAAHHHH, MONDASIAN CYBERMEN!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH, JOHN SIMM!!!!!!! WE’RE GONNA HAVE TWO MASTERS SHARING THE SCREEN, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

There, that’s better.

Okay, so we’ve got Picts and Romans facing off in “The Eaters of Light” as well as a wasted opportunity to see the Twelfth Doctor in Pictish war paint (Nardole indulges himself, though). Bill accomplishes her mission of finding the missing Ninth Roman Legion, but she, the Doctor, and Nardole also encountered the titular Eaters of Light. The Picts had warriors whose lifelong mission was to defend a transdimensional portal that allowed the Eaters to enter our world, but Kar, the latest Gatekeeper, decided to let an Eater through the portal with the hope that it would destroy the Roman army threatening their land (and figuring the army itself could kill the Eater). But although the Eater destroyed the army, the army was not strong enough to destroy the Eater, and now Romans and Picts alike–heck, the entire world!–are in danger.

This episode was written by Rona Munro, who wrote the last-ever Classic Who episode “Survival” with the Seventh Doctor and Ace. To date, this is the only time a writer has contributed to both old and nuWho, which I think is completely awesome, and they need to do more of it in the future. Since the Master also appeared in “Survival”, this may explain why Missy felt more like a classic Master than in other episodes.

Speaking of Missy, I am so glad the Doctor is not blindly trusting her. I know he wants his friend back, but Missy’s done so much evil that he knows he can’t blindly trust her. We’ve thought we could trust her before, and it turns out it was all part of some clever scheme. Missy’s got to try extra hard to prove herself, which is probably what leads into next week’s episode (where we see the Doctor leave Missy in charge of an adventure with Bill and Nardole to help her).

“World Enough and Time” is the first half of the two-part season finale, and can you believe it’s time for the finale already? I still don’t think I’m ready for Capaldi to leave…but I am definitely stoked about the Mondasian Cybermen and John Simm’s return–complete with a Master goatee! It will be interesting to see two different versions of the Master interacting with each other, more importantly to see how this affects Missy. Will she abandon her quest to become good, or will she ultimately prove to the Doctor that she can change? Time will tell, I guess!

Some Thoughts on “Doctor Who: Empress of Mars” *Contains Spoilers*

Before I launch into the review, I have a rant to get off my chest. *Inhales deeply* WHY DOES BBC AMERICA NEVER SHOW THE “NEXT TIME” TRAILERS!? WHY DOES IT NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT!? YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SHOW THE TRAILER FOR THE NEXT EPISODE AND NOT SOME PROMO FOR THE SHOW THAT’S ON NEXT! YOU HAVE DUTIES TO THE AMERICAN WHOVIANS! WE HAVE RIGHTS! ARE YOU TRYING TO PUNISH US FOR THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION!? WE WILL NOT BE SILENT!

Okay, I feel better now. Anyway, “Empress of Mars” is Mark Gatiss’s first episode since last season’s disappointly dull “Sleep No More”, and he totally made up for it. The Doctor, Bill, and Nardole discover that “God save the Queen” was spelled out on Mars circa 1881, so naturally they have to investigate what happened. It turns out they find a troop of British soldiers who came to Mars via the crashed spaceship of an Ice Warrior. The Ice Warrior, whom they call Friday, promised them gems beyond their wildest imagination, but, alas, there are no gems to mine. But there is another reason Friday persuaded them to take him back to Mars–to resurrect Iraxxa, Empress of Mars.

I think this is by far one of the strongest Ice Warrior stories we’ve ever had. Even in Classic Who, we really just got stories of the mighty warriors they were of old. Here we actually got to see how deserving they were of their fearsome reputations. Plus, it makes their decision to pursue the ways of peace in “The Curse of Peladon” all the more interesting (and their reversion to war in “The Monster of Peladon” not all that surprising). And speaking of the Peladon stories, it was a thrill to see Alpha Centauri again.

I’m still not convinced of Missy’s goodness, and this week’s episode only strengthened my suspicions. I can’t help but suspect that she was the one who somehow caused the TARDIS to malfunction knowing that Nardole would seek her help when he was unable to fix it himself. Rule number one is the Doctor lies; rule number two is Moffat lies, and I’m pretty convinced that rule number 3 is the Master lies.

Next week, the Romans return in “The Eaters of Light”! They probably won’t be Nestene Romans, which means no chance of Nestene Rory, but I suppose we’ll make do.

Some Thoughts on “Doctor Who: The Lie of the Land” *Contains Spoilers*

Last week, Bill made it possible for the Monks to invade Earth through a well-meant desire to restore the Doctor’s sight and allow him to escape from a laboratory that was about to explode. This week, we see the consequences of her agreement with the Monks–they’ve tricked the entire human race into thinking they’ve always been there (when it’s really only been about six months), and life is basically 1984 with aliens. To make matters worse, the Doctor is siding with the Monks, releasing videos to encourage the humans to keep submitting to the Monks’ authority and turn in anyone who dares to suggest the Monks are unfriendly invaders. It’s bleak, to be sure, but Bill and Nardole are able to save the Doctor, who now must seek help from the only person in the universe who’s as clever as he is–Missy.

It’s difficult to gauge for certain just how sincere Missy is in her declarations of wanting to be good because if there’s one thing we’ve learned in 53 years of Doctor Who, it’s that you can never trust the Master. Never. No matter how sincere the words or actions, you always have to assume the Master is looking out for numero uno. Considering all this, it will be interesting to see how long Missy’s intentions of being good will last once she crosses paths with Simm Master later in the season.

I must say that was a brilliant fakeout with the regeneration scene. Way to freak us all out with the threat of a surprise regeneration halfway through the series, BBC–which reminds me, there’s still been no word on who will replace Peter Capaldi, and I kind of hope it stays that way. I’d love for the next Doctor to be a completely unexpected surprise.

Next week, we’re off to Mars in “Empress of Mars”! Yay, Ice Warriors! I’m so glad Moffat decided not just to bring them back but to make them recurring villains as well. Classic Who had so many good monsters that it’s nice to go back and revisit. Admittedly there were a few duds, but there were also some good ones, and the Ice Warriors were one of those good ones.

Some Thoughts on “Doctor Who: The Pyramid at the End of the World” *Contains Spoilers*

I’m back at (more or less) my usual time! And, boy, was there a lot of stuff that happened in this week’s episode. And that cliffhanger! Ugh! A week feels like a long time to wait for a resolution.

We see the Doctor return in his role of President of the World when the UN comes to him (well, comes to Bill, actually, in the hopes she can persuade him) for help in dealing with the 5,000-year-old pyramid that appeared in the middle of a war zone overnight. It turns out that the Monks from last week’s episode have determined it was time to make their move in the invasion of the Earth, but they’re not invading in the usual way. They will not take over by force; they will assume control of the Earth only if they are asked. And the motivation must come from love, not from fear or strategy or anything else. This naturally doesn’t sit well with the Doctor, but hardly anyone listens to him–not even Bill, who is the one who ultimately makes the deal for the Monks to take over the Earth. They can have the world so long as they restore the Doctor’s sight.

I’ll be honest; I was a little disappointed in Bill for making the deal. Time and again she refuses to listen to the Doctor, and now the entire planet will pay for it. It’s sad to see just how little she trusts him, especially after everything they’ve already been through. Her stubbornness may well prove to be a point of contention between her and the Doctor in future episodes. Then again, she is more of a student-figure than we’ve seen in previous seasons, so a lot of this, too, plays into her learning curve. She must learn when to listen to the Doctor and when to make her own choices. Undoubtedly Bill will turn out stronger and wiser for this moment, but that doesn’t necessarily make it less disappointing at first.

Is it too early to put in a request for a new companion for the Thirteenth Doctor? Because I liked Erica, and I hope she gets to travel in the TARDIS either with this Doctor or the next one. She was cheerful and clever–even the Doctor thought so, and when the Doctor says someone is clever, there’s a good chance that’s true.

Just when I think I’ve accepted the fact that Capaldi is leaving, he goes and plays his guitar and does insightful monologues, and I get sad about his departure all over again. I’m going to miss our Doctor Disco. Maybe they’ll bring him back for the 60th anniversary special or something.

Next week, we see how Bill’s deal with the Monks has altered the rest of the world in “The Lie of the Land”. Missy’s back! We learn whether or not Nardole survived! And it looks as though we’ll get an answer for that regeneration scene shown in the trailers!

Reviewing Lovecraft

Today is Towel Day/Geek Pride Day, so what better day to pen my thoughts on H. P. Lovecraft’s The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories? I’ve heard a lot about Lovecraft over the years–his work is regarded as classic science fiction—but it wasn’t until recently that I actually got a chance to read him.

After reading him, I can’t help but think he’d be more accurately classified as horror instead of science fiction. Those were some weird stories, y’all. I enjoyed them, but still…that was some of the weirdest writing I’ve ever read. The best way I can describe it is as nightmares made flesh, as if he tapped into the things that terrify us the most and put them in front of us so that we were forced to confront them. I actually felt sorry for the characters; they were full of hopelessness and despair and terror. They were trapped in a world beyond all comprehension and had no chance of escape.

That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the stories. On the contrary, I can see why he’s so popular (and why Cthulhu is popular, too). And I truly believe Lovecraft had a major impact on the science fiction genre. But, man, stories like “Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and His Family”, “The Rats in the Walls”, and “Nyarlathotep” were some of the weirdest things I’ve ever read.

Is this review coming off as equivocating? I don’t mean it to be. Lovecraft is great; just expect some weirdness if you read him, that’s all.

I think I’ve just succeeded in confusing myself. So here, just enjoy “So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish”.