Dear Walt Disney/Jerry Brookheimer…

After recently viewing the newly-released trailer for the upcoming release of The Lone Ranger, I am forced to ask…what the heck did you do!? It’s all flashy action sequences and electric guitar! And that bit about spanning time and space…oh, please say you are not going to turn this into an sf/western mash-up disaster. The Lone Ranger and Tonto deserve better. Yes, I did something like that once, but I have an excuse–I was only 14. You, sirs, have no such excuse.

While I’m on the topic of deserving better, why does Tonto have a crow on his head? For that matter, why does the Lone Ranger look as if he’s borrowed Zorro’s wardrobe? Please tell me you did not make him all emo; that’s just many levels of wrong.

I’m not at all certain exactly what you have taken the liberty of changing, but be warned–if it is too ridiculous, I shall be forced to retaliate. I shall be forced to unleash Marie Reid upon an unsuspecting world. You don’t know her, and you probably don’t want to, but if the movie is horrible, you will leave me no choice than to contemplate turning loose the most complicated, convoluted storyline the world has seen since The Simarillion.

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3 Comments

Filed under Reviews

3 responses to “Dear Walt Disney/Jerry Brookheimer…

  1. rosariamarie

    Dear About-to-unleash,

    I just have one thing to say in response to this declaration: REVENGE ALA REID!!!! NOW!!!!!!

    An unabashed accomplice

  2. Not just yet, Rosaria. Not just yet. Patience. 🙂

  3. Pingback: Happy Birthday, My Turn to Talk! | My Turn to Talk

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